“Le débat est ouvert” ... A man and a woman friend?
The idea was inconceivable for a long time, the two sexes living in separate universes, without really knowing each other outside the bonds of the couple. The generalization of women's work and then mixed school have jostled these distant relationships. The periods of celibacy, much more numerous in the course of life than formerly, leave the field open to the birth of solid friendships between men and women, and to all their ambiguities.
A friend is someone who knows us by heart, to whom we deliver without makeup. Desire needs mystery, of which friendship is willing to go: "To desire the other is to perceive that its psychic construction has nothing to do with mine," explains Catherine Blanc, a sexologist, psychoanalyst and author of La sexualité des femmes, not that of magazines (Pocket, "Évolution ", 2009). This difference creates a gap between the other and me, which I will seek to fill thanks to sexuality. With a friend, the issues are of a different order: we try to replay the tenderness, the closeness we have experienced with dad, mom, our brothers and sisters. We leave the field of sexuality to avoid the risk of summoning an incestuous situation. "
Colorful friendships: Moreover, many friends emphasize the fraternal, almost family bond that unites them, erecting between them this barrier of a symbolic incest.
Is the desire absent?
"We like the net positions: either there is desire, or there is none. But life is more subtle, more blurred. Often, a game of seduction takes place between a man and a woman friends, without this having consequences on their relationship »
The human being does not split like that, clearly, clearly. He distributes cards differently, but they are present in every relationship. The attraction is there, but it remains contained, to be able to leave room for friendship.